Day 1: The Internet in foreign countries is of adequate speed.

My dearest David,

After three stops and about eight hours of flying, I've arrived in Belize. More specifically, Belize City (Population: 70,000). Before I go into what will certainly confirm your views on foreign countries, I'd like to share a few notes from my journey this morning.

International flights beat the shit out of domestic ones. My experience thus far only consists of Taca International (catch phrase: "Another on-time flight with Taca!"), but let's count the ways in which this flight topped its American domestic counterparts:

1. Tons of Central and South American dudes with mustaches wearing cowboy hats. Pretty much speaks for itself. But seriously, I thought I was on a plane with about 24 Latin Burt Reynolds impersonators.

2. Hot flight attendants. (Read: Not gay men [although the male flight attendants were certainly comely enough, from a hetero perspective] or elderly women). Maybe this is just a Latin thing; I'll have to gather more data.

3. Airline food. I didn't realize this actually still existed, but I was treated to a delightful breakfast of spongy hotcakes with hot apples, a cup of strawberry yogurt, two muffins, and a Bloody Mary to wash it down. Not bad.

4. Every time we arrived at a stop, the pilot would come over the PA and announce our arrival (not unusual), followed by "Thank you for flying with Tacaaaaaaaaaa..." with an elongated whisper at the end (unusual).


Side note: What's going on with the Lions? I only have stat updates at the moment, but this is brutal so far.

Anyway, back to Belize. Katie has just entered my room to express concern that the contents of this blog could be damaging to our travels (in Central/South America, at least) due to the possibly high levels of vulgarity/offensive content. Well, I haven't used much profanity thus far, but I think I speak for both of us when I say FUCK THAT FUCKING SHIT. I'll Google myself when this post is done to see if I show up (as a precaution, I've changed my name to Doggfrey).

Belize City seems cool enough, but I have no doubt you'd be uncomfortable, due to your noted distrust of non-whites. I'll have more info on that as my stay continues. Katie has to be interviewed for TV and go to social events at the American Embassy and shit. And, as her greasy-haired male companion, I have to film everything. The things I do for cheap travel.

Are you at Duffy's? And the obvious follow-up is: Are you blackout already?

-Doggins