Hello, Mr. Sharp,
I'd just like to introduce myself. I've been a Detroit Lions fan for as long as I can remember. I still recall watching Barry and the Leos fall to Paul Edinger's last-minute field goal (in all honesty, this is one of my first Lions memories). I've called Chicago my home since 2005, but I've never called the Bears my home team. In fact, I hate the Bears. I bleed Honolulu Blue.
We tend to take different points of view when it comes to the Lions: I like to believe that the team will improve from year to year, with a (arguably) realistic outlook on their division finish. You, on the other hand, make a living by casting a negative light on pretty much anything the Lions do. And, in your negativity, you refuse to be bothered by things like journalistic integrity, or even facts!
Remember when you wrote this article? http://www.freep.com/article/20091030/COL08/910300318/No-sure-win-Rams-superior-personnel
I'm sure you do. It was during Matthew Stafford's rookie season, right after that dreadful 0-16 campaign. And, I mean, that must have been heaven for you. Tell me, how erect were you when you turned in your articles to the Free Press? I'm guessing you ruined at least five pairs of pants that season? No? Too few? Fair enough.
But, let's talk about that article: Remember how Calvin Johnson didn't play that game? Remember how you took Alex Barron over Jeff Backus at left tackle? My oh my, what a comic you are, my friend! Oh, no, wait! "Brandon Pettigrew or Randy McMichael: Where's the dartboard?" Oh, Drew, you've done it again! I'm pretty sure Richie Incognito had already been suspended by that point, but you've never been one to let the facts get in the way of your reporting, my man. But, enough with your award-winning articles from the past. (I do assume they won awards, right?)
Oh, and here was another good one from just last year! (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/12/02/sharp-lions-players-ticked-off-at-selfish-suh/)
My personal favorite part of this interview is how you claim the Lions are, as the URL says, "ticked off at [Suh for being selfish]." (Sorry, buddy, I have a penchant for correcting grammar--talk to your editor about that!) One thing that may slightly affect your argument is literally the very first thing shown on the video, in which Kyle VandenBosch says "I don't think selfish is the word." Look, I obviously don't have the keen insight and access to the Lions locker room that you do, but might this possibly be contradictory to your point?
Oh, wait, but there's more! Remember when you talked about Matthew Stafford's broken finger as having no effect on his play, and instead asserted that it was merely "experience"? Oh, man, you really pulled one over on us there! You know, because once the glove came off, Matthew Stafford pretty much pulled out his penis on the rest of the NFL? (And so did Calvin Johnson, who the NFL had "figured out" by then--Drew, you soothsayer!)
Most recently, a number of players from the Lions' 2011 draft class have been picked up for marijuana possession. And, in your seat as the judge of all things Detroit Sports (We wouldn't want Mitch Albom there, right? That softy would just acquit everyone!), you have declared that the Lions should "kick Leshoure and Fairley off the team."
Well, fair enough. That is one opinion. But, Drew, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a separate stand on the issue.
First of all, let's get it out of the way by saying I agree that the players' citations for marijuana possession are rather silly. You would call them "numbskulls", but I was born after 1935, so I'll avoid that term. Look, Drew, I know you've never smoked weed (as evidenced by your truly brave admission in the Free Press--that must have taken some real intestinal fortitude!), but I have, and I happen to know how that whole process works. So, I feel a little more justified in declaring the Lions' players' actions stupid. Honestly, Leshoure/Fairley. You can't have a boy of yours go and pick up a bag? You can't afford some sort of delivery service? I mean, good lord, I managed that as a broke college freshman in Chicago! Seriously, delivery right to my dorm room! The service was amazing! So, please try to hurt my team a little less in the future. (Particularly you, Mikel, as you've done literally nothing to help the Lions at this point in your career.)
But, back to your claim, Drew. I'm sorry. I tend to get off topic sometimes. I'm sure you can sympathize. (Oh, speaking of getting off topic, you actually imply that Tom Izzo's player getting picked up affects Jim Schwartz. So, I guess Derrick Nix will never play in the NFL again?) But, you advocate for Leshoure and Fairley's dismissal based on the following logic:
"They can't chance Fairley and Leshoure becoming Charles Rogers 2.0, unquestioned talent tilting toward self-destruction. And as we learned from the former wide receiver's implosion into a haze of abusive, reckless behavior, you can't stop somebody hell-bent on ruining his life."
Now, I'm no Jack McCoy, but I'm pretty sure that Roger Goodell and the NFL treat marijuana with more severity than the U.S. legal system. Thus, as has already been noted, Leshoure may actually face a penalty as severe as a four-game suspension (something I don't think is deserved, and hope doesn't happen). Fairley, with this being his first offense, faces very little disciplinary action. That is, he faces very little disciplinary action from the NFL, who is more severe than the U.S. legal system. But, in the court of Drew Sharp's opinion, he should be removed from the team's roster. Because of, and I paraphrase here, what he might become.
Apparently, the Drew Sharp NFL is based on Minority Report. Get Tom Cruise on the case.
For a guy that recommended Martin Mayhew for NFL executive of the year (http://www.freep.com/article/20120112/COL08/201120628/Drew-Sharp-Drew-Sharp-Lions-Martin-Mayhew-should-be-NFL-executive-of-the-year), you clearly don't understand how he runs a football team.
Anyway, all the best, Drew. Tell Rosenberg I said hey. He does some solid Lions coverage.
Sincerely,
Christopher R. Tomke
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
You're Going to Love This
It's your favorite writer!
http://www.freep.com/article/20120404/COL08/204040440/1049/rss14
Enjoy yourself.
http://www.freep.com/article/20120404/COL08/204040440/1049/rss14
Enjoy yourself.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Spirit of the South!
Matt's friend Cole tends to talk very seriously about things. When he speaks, he gives off the impression that he's being entirely earnest, all the time. If you're looking to have a serious, "deep" conversation, this is a good thing. If you're talking to, say, someone like Matt Kelly, this can go horribly wrong.
We were out at the bar last night (surprise!), and somehow, the topic of the Southern U.S. came up. Cole proceeded to wax poetic about how there's something about the South that he truly admires, something you can't find in the North. You know, the "Spirit of the South--I don't mean racism, but, you know, just the...Spirit of the South. I don't know how else to describe it." Matt responded, "Most people would 'describe' that as slavery."
Matt and I then accused Cole of reminiscing about the good ol' slavery days of yore, which he adamantly denied, before continuing to romanticize the American South and its certain je ne sais quoi (continually using this term). "You know, I think I could really do well living there."
This has led to Matt's and my favorite joke of the day: The Spirit of the South! Here's the rules of our new meme: You just have to speak wistfully, and use the key phrase in the body. That's it! Here are some samples:
-"You know, the clear signage leaves no room for guesswork. You really know what types of people should be where. The Spirit of the South!"
-"You know, the way they dress their wait staff in those sharp pink tuxedos, and that white glove treatment. You don't get that in the North, boy. The Spirit of the South!"
-"Oh, and the way they have separate restaurants to cater to different culinary tastes. My, oh my, the Spirit of the South!"
-"Assigned seating on buses. It really takes out the hustle and bustle of public transit and makes it relaxing. The Spirit of the South!"
-"Just the way the Spirit of the South has always been ahead of the curve when it comes to education. They recognized different learning styles and required different schools!"
-"The hands-on vocational training for the young. Only with the Spirit of the South do you get that passion for a hard day's work!"
-"You know, just the way people from so many cultures can come together for the benefit of one man. So selfless. All for one! The Spirit of the South!"
-"They're so much more respectful of animals down there. They always used all parts of the animal: the pigs' snouts, feet, intestines. The Spirit of the South is never wasteful!"
-"You know, it's just the respect for people in positions of authority. People truly respect upper management there. The Spirit of the South!"
-"It's not like the busybody industrial world in the North. It's about a cold glass of lemonade on a hot day, looking out over your land. It's such an agrarian utopia! The Spirit of the South!"
-"They may seem laid back and relaxed, but it's so efficient there. Just, the low cost of production for their cotton output is staggering. My, my, my, the Spirit of the South!"
-"The Spirit of the South is about brotherhood. It burns bright, like the light of 20 torches and white hoods against the moonlit sky."
-"You know, just the way people understand that there's a problem with certain types of co-mingling. It's an unspoken agreement. What else can you call it? The Spirit of the South!"
-"Just the spiritual satisfaction of walking around your land, and seeing the fruit of hard labor. Mmm, truly the Spirit of the South values work!"
-"It's when you walk down the sidewalk, and people move out of the way, because they know you have important business to attend to. That is the Spirit of the South."
-"Just, you know, the way their blacks are so submissive. The Spirit of the South!"
Try and make your own!
Matt Kelly: "Man, Cole is going to be crushed when he finds out we have a black mayor."
We were out at the bar last night (surprise!), and somehow, the topic of the Southern U.S. came up. Cole proceeded to wax poetic about how there's something about the South that he truly admires, something you can't find in the North. You know, the "Spirit of the South--I don't mean racism, but, you know, just the...Spirit of the South. I don't know how else to describe it." Matt responded, "Most people would 'describe' that as slavery."
Matt and I then accused Cole of reminiscing about the good ol' slavery days of yore, which he adamantly denied, before continuing to romanticize the American South and its certain je ne sais quoi (continually using this term). "You know, I think I could really do well living there."
This has led to Matt's and my favorite joke of the day: The Spirit of the South! Here's the rules of our new meme: You just have to speak wistfully, and use the key phrase in the body. That's it! Here are some samples:
-"You know, the clear signage leaves no room for guesswork. You really know what types of people should be where. The Spirit of the South!"
-"You know, the way they dress their wait staff in those sharp pink tuxedos, and that white glove treatment. You don't get that in the North, boy. The Spirit of the South!"
-"Oh, and the way they have separate restaurants to cater to different culinary tastes. My, oh my, the Spirit of the South!"
-"Assigned seating on buses. It really takes out the hustle and bustle of public transit and makes it relaxing. The Spirit of the South!"
-"Just the way the Spirit of the South has always been ahead of the curve when it comes to education. They recognized different learning styles and required different schools!"
-"The hands-on vocational training for the young. Only with the Spirit of the South do you get that passion for a hard day's work!"
-"You know, just the way people from so many cultures can come together for the benefit of one man. So selfless. All for one! The Spirit of the South!"
-"They're so much more respectful of animals down there. They always used all parts of the animal: the pigs' snouts, feet, intestines. The Spirit of the South is never wasteful!"
-"You know, it's just the respect for people in positions of authority. People truly respect upper management there. The Spirit of the South!"
-"It's not like the busybody industrial world in the North. It's about a cold glass of lemonade on a hot day, looking out over your land. It's such an agrarian utopia! The Spirit of the South!"
-"They may seem laid back and relaxed, but it's so efficient there. Just, the low cost of production for their cotton output is staggering. My, my, my, the Spirit of the South!"
-"The Spirit of the South is about brotherhood. It burns bright, like the light of 20 torches and white hoods against the moonlit sky."
-"You know, just the way people understand that there's a problem with certain types of co-mingling. It's an unspoken agreement. What else can you call it? The Spirit of the South!"
-"Just the spiritual satisfaction of walking around your land, and seeing the fruit of hard labor. Mmm, truly the Spirit of the South values work!"
-"It's when you walk down the sidewalk, and people move out of the way, because they know you have important business to attend to. That is the Spirit of the South."
-"Just, you know, the way their blacks are so submissive. The Spirit of the South!"
Try and make your own!
Matt Kelly: "Man, Cole is going to be crushed when he finds out we have a black mayor."
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Quick Quotes on Your Birthday
Yen: "I assume your plan to celebrate CT's birthday involves getting very drunk today?"
Dave: "It's the only way to make the hurt go away, Yen."
Vince: "Other people get drunk because it's the weekend, or because someone's in from out of town, or something like that. You drink like it's a personal challenge to see how drunk you can get. And I love that about you."
Happy birthday!
Dave: "It's the only way to make the hurt go away, Yen."
Vince: "Other people get drunk because it's the weekend, or because someone's in from out of town, or something like that. You drink like it's a personal challenge to see how drunk you can get. And I love that about you."
Happy birthday!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
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