The Spirit of the South!

Matt's friend Cole tends to talk very seriously about things. When he speaks, he gives off the impression that he's being entirely earnest, all the time. If you're looking to have a serious, "deep" conversation, this is a good thing. If you're talking to, say, someone like Matt Kelly, this can go horribly wrong.

We were out at the bar last night (surprise!), and somehow, the topic of the Southern U.S. came up. Cole proceeded to wax poetic about how there's something about the South that he truly admires, something you can't find in the North. You know, the "Spirit of the South--I don't mean racism, but, you know, just the...Spirit of the South. I don't know how else to describe it." Matt responded, "Most people would 'describe' that as slavery."

Matt and I then accused Cole of reminiscing about the good ol' slavery days of yore, which he adamantly denied, before continuing to romanticize the American South and its certain je ne sais quoi (continually using this term). "You know, I think I could really do well living there."

This has led to Matt's and my favorite joke of the day: The Spirit of the South! Here's the rules of our new meme: You just have to speak wistfully, and use the key phrase in the body. That's it! Here are some samples:


-"You know, the clear signage leaves no room for guesswork. You really know what types of people should be where. The Spirit of the South!"

-"You know, the way they dress their wait staff in those sharp pink tuxedos, and that white glove treatment. You don't get that in the North, boy. The Spirit of the South!"

-"Oh, and the way they have separate restaurants to cater to different culinary tastes. My, oh my, the Spirit of the South!"

-"Assigned seating on buses. It really takes out the hustle and bustle of public transit and makes it relaxing. The Spirit of the South!"

-"Just the way the Spirit of the South has always been ahead of the curve when it comes to education. They recognized different learning styles and required different schools!"

-"The hands-on vocational training for the young. Only with the Spirit of the South do you get that passion for a hard day's work!"

-"You know, just the way people from so many cultures can come together for the benefit of one man. So selfless. All for one! The Spirit of the South!"

-"They're so much more respectful of animals down there. They always used all parts of the animal: the pigs' snouts, feet, intestines. The Spirit of the South is never wasteful!"

-"You know, it's just the respect for people in positions of authority. People truly respect upper management there. The Spirit of the South!"

-"It's not like the busybody industrial world in the North. It's about a cold glass of lemonade on a hot day, looking out over your land. It's such an agrarian utopia! The Spirit of the South!"

-"They may seem laid back and relaxed, but it's so efficient there. Just, the low cost of production for their cotton output is staggering. My, my, my, the Spirit of the South!"

-"The Spirit of the South is about brotherhood. It burns bright, like the light of 20 torches and white hoods against the moonlit sky."

-"You know, just the way people understand that there's a problem with certain types of co-mingling. It's an unspoken agreement. What else can you call it? The Spirit of the South!"

-"Just the spiritual satisfaction of walking around your land, and seeing the fruit of hard labor. Mmm, truly the Spirit of the South values work!"

-"It's when you walk down the sidewalk, and people move out of the way, because they know you have important business to attend to. That is the Spirit of the South."

-"Just, you know, the way their blacks are so submissive. The Spirit of the South!"


Try and make your own!

Matt Kelly: "Man, Cole is going to be crushed when he finds out we have a black mayor."