In arguably the most surprising turn of events in Detroit media history, Mitch Albom's article on the Lions' first-round draft pick actually seems more negative than Drew Sharp's. (Granted, Drew Sharp once again waves his "character concerns" flag, but he does it by hoping to avoid any "'Reiff-er Madness' headlines." And, since that is a play on words, topical, and a decent [if antiquated] pop culture reference, I'll accept it.) So, because I'm bored, and love the Lions, I've decided to do an FJM-style take on Mitch Albom's piece.
Lions' picking Reilly Reiff not flashy, but sensible
I can agree with that. Offensive line picks are probably the least sexy of any position outside of punter. But, Reiff is a tackle, at least. Sexier than a center. So far, off to a solid start, Mitch!
They stayed put. They didn't move. While it seemed like every team in the NFL was making draft-night trades, the Lions remained in the sandbox, watching the other kids jump on the swings and the monkey bars.
Patented Mitch Albom weird metaphor. Because, football is a game, so teams are like children, I guess? And doesn't it seem as though Albom is implying that the monkey bars and swings are somehow cooler? I enjoyed playing in the sandbox as a child. Dick.
This either makes them very slow, very smart or very satisfied.
Not specific to the Lions' draft pick. Not specific to any of the trades that occurred in the first round. Not specific to any team's pick, in any draft, ever.
They would have you believe it was "satisfied."
Again, something that could be said for any team. Even Oakland, who didn't have a first-round pick because they traded for Carson Palmer (whoops!).
[T]he part of me that agrees with that is the part that sees quarterback Matthew Stafford as the most valuable piece of this franchise -- and protecting him the most important thing the franchise can do.
The franchise quarterback is the most valuable piece of the franchise? That seems crazy, Mitch, but I'll play along. Curious, though: who does the other part of you see as the most valuable piece of the franchise? Nate Hughes? Ashlee Palmer? Don Muhlbach? I bet it's Don Muhlbach.
The part of me that is less than thrilled remembers Gosder Cherilus, the Lions' first-round pick just four years ago. Because Reiff, to win a starting job, is most likely going to compete with Cherilus for right tackle, which means one of those first two picks is going to end up behind the other.
Well, yes, Reiff can play four different positions on the offensive line. And it is possible that Reiff will challenge Cherilus for the starting RT spot. Given Cherilus' inconsistencies, some competition is probably a good thing, no? Also, by "one of those first two picks," I assume you meant "one of those two first-round picks," right? Check with your editor on that one.
Oh, and there is this line by Jim Schwartz: "Reilly is a left tackle." I think that should be taken under advisement.
And that's not a productive way to draft.
First-round picks not living up to their draft status is not "productive." I agree, Mitch. That isn't a productive way to draft. I'm not sure who you're criticizing here, though. Martin Mayhew is the Lions' GM. Gosder Cherilus was a Matt Millen draft pick. Matt Millen's drafts were generally regarded as "not productive." Almost all of Matt Millen's decisions were regarded as "not productive." Matt Millen has become a case study in ways to be "not productive." Matt Millen was fired over three years ago. I would argue that selecting talented players, regardless of position, is a "productive" way to draft. (I'm still not sure whether you think Mayhew's pick was "sensible" or somehow "not productive.")
And here's where the wheels come off...
[B]y the time the Lions got around to sending Calvin Johnson to the podium to announce their pick -- after he plugged his Madden football cover (and by the way, can we stop acting like being chosen to grace a video game is somehow the equivalent of making the Hall of Fame?)--there was little else for Detroit to do but pick an offensive lineman.
Calvin Johnson. What a corporate lackey! What a vapid yes-man! That stooge! He should've refused to plug Madden '13, which would probably be a breach of contract, and thus result in the Calvin Johnson, Jr. Foundation not receiving all that money to help at-risk youth. But at least he would have stood up to the Man! Those kids could have learned something about a little thing called ethics! Way to "drop the ball," Calvin!
No one equates Madden covers with HOF status, Mitch. Madden NFL is a popular video game. The cover vote is a fun way to get the fans involved. Unlike with HOF status (which should not be voted on by the fans, by the way), people get to participate in deciding who will grace the cover of Madden. They get excited about that sort of thing. Should they not?
You're criticizing Calvin Johnson. Calvin Johnson, who is universally revered as a genuinely good person and positive example of how to conduct oneself as a professional athlete. (He is also pretty good at football.) I assume your follow-up article will be "Too low-key: How Lidstrom's lack of fire doomed the Red Wings."
What they really needed was secondary help, and the best players in those positions were gone by the 10th pick...That essentially cleared the decks. Dre Kirkpatrick from Alabama (nickname "Swag") was still there at 17, but the Lions made no move to jump up, perhaps believing that their defense was already swaggering enough.
On one hand, we have you: "The Lions made no move to jump up." On the other hand, we have Lions GM Martin Mayhew: "As usual, we looked at all of our options. We looked at moving up. At one point, we talked about moving back." You do realize that draft-day trades don't just spontaneously happen, right? Could it be possible that the Lions just couldn't find an acceptable trade partner? It takes two to tango. Even Drew Sharp recognizes this fact, and he believes the Detroit Lions are some sort of biblical plague unleashed upon the state of Michigan.
His fans say he's solid. His critics say he's not the strongest or fastest guy. And Mel Kiper is worried he has short arms. Honestly. Short arms. If I have to listen to Kiper five more minutes, I'll blow up the TV set.
Making fun of Mel Kiper's catchphrases (or hair) is like complaining that professional wrestling seems fake. It's hacky and obvious.
But such is the NFL draft, the most overblown non-event in the current rack of overblown non-events. After all, no games are won or lost on draft night. The only sweating comes from hot lights or chili dogs.
In the literal sense, this is correct. No professional football games are played in Radio City Music Hall. (Although Ray Lewis running onstage, drilling Andrew Luck in the chest, and standing over his comatose body, screaming "WELCOME TO THE NFL, YOU PUNK BITCH!" would make for some must-see TV.) But, as the Detroit Free Press' presiding master of metaphor, aren't you aware of the fallacy of that statement? Where would the Lions be if Mayhew had taken Aaron Curry instead of Matthew Stafford in 2009? What if Oakland had taken Calvin Johnson, and Matt Millen had drafted JaMarcus Russell? I believe those decisions might have affected the Lions' win-loss record.
I mean, really, all the time, effort, analysis and double-analysis, and the Lions end up with a guy who, once he pulls on his helmet, will disappear from most people's view for the length of his career? Was that really the party you were counting on?
If Reilly Reiff ends up being a high-caliber offensive tackle for the next decade, then yes. It was exactly the party I was counting on. And, how can you argue that a possible left tackle of the future will "disappear from most people's view for the length of his career?" No one on the Lions takes more grief than Jeff Backus (an offensive tackle himself, you know).
Here is all you need to know about the NFL draft. The man who helped make it a three-day event with a prime-time telecast, commissioner Roger Goodell, got booed every time he stepped to the podium Thursday night. And he's the guy who gave the fans what they wanted!
Well, he also presided over last offseason's NFL lockout, and many felt he catered exclusively to the whims of the owners. The lockout shortened training camps and threatened the NFL season. Football fans like watching football. They don't react kindly when it's threatened. Also, the Draft is in New York. There are a lot of Jets fans in the crowd. They boo, chant offensively, and are generally obnoxious. It's fucking New York.
Some might ask why Detroit didn't trade up for secondary help. It's a fair question.
Martin Mayhew: "As usual, we looked at all of our options. We looked at moving up. At one point, we talked about moving back."
But then, there's always Rounds 2, 3, 4, etc.
Oh, yeah. But no one ever gets starters out of those rounds.
Maybe Mel Kiper can suggest someone whose arms are long enough. Which begs the question: How long should a man's arms be? Long enough to hit the mute button.
So, like six inches?
Go to the NFL Network, dude. You get Michael Irvin. You never know what kind of nonsense he's going to say at excessive volume.
And, on a related note, John Niyo (who I guarantee makes significantly less than Albom or Sharp) writes a level-headed, non-inflammatory, logical analysis of the pick for the Detroit News.
Lions' picking Reilly Reiff not flashy, but sensible
I can agree with that. Offensive line picks are probably the least sexy of any position outside of punter. But, Reiff is a tackle, at least. Sexier than a center. So far, off to a solid start, Mitch!
They stayed put. They didn't move. While it seemed like every team in the NFL was making draft-night trades, the Lions remained in the sandbox, watching the other kids jump on the swings and the monkey bars.
Patented Mitch Albom weird metaphor. Because, football is a game, so teams are like children, I guess? And doesn't it seem as though Albom is implying that the monkey bars and swings are somehow cooler? I enjoyed playing in the sandbox as a child. Dick.
This either makes them very slow, very smart or very satisfied.
Not specific to the Lions' draft pick. Not specific to any of the trades that occurred in the first round. Not specific to any team's pick, in any draft, ever.
They would have you believe it was "satisfied."
Again, something that could be said for any team. Even Oakland, who didn't have a first-round pick because they traded for Carson Palmer (whoops!).
[T]he part of me that agrees with that is the part that sees quarterback Matthew Stafford as the most valuable piece of this franchise -- and protecting him the most important thing the franchise can do.
The franchise quarterback is the most valuable piece of the franchise? That seems crazy, Mitch, but I'll play along. Curious, though: who does the other part of you see as the most valuable piece of the franchise? Nate Hughes? Ashlee Palmer? Don Muhlbach? I bet it's Don Muhlbach.
The part of me that is less than thrilled remembers Gosder Cherilus, the Lions' first-round pick just four years ago. Because Reiff, to win a starting job, is most likely going to compete with Cherilus for right tackle, which means one of those first two picks is going to end up behind the other.
Well, yes, Reiff can play four different positions on the offensive line. And it is possible that Reiff will challenge Cherilus for the starting RT spot. Given Cherilus' inconsistencies, some competition is probably a good thing, no? Also, by "one of those first two picks," I assume you meant "one of those two first-round picks," right? Check with your editor on that one.
Oh, and there is this line by Jim Schwartz: "Reilly is a left tackle." I think that should be taken under advisement.
And that's not a productive way to draft.
First-round picks not living up to their draft status is not "productive." I agree, Mitch. That isn't a productive way to draft. I'm not sure who you're criticizing here, though. Martin Mayhew is the Lions' GM. Gosder Cherilus was a Matt Millen draft pick. Matt Millen's drafts were generally regarded as "not productive." Almost all of Matt Millen's decisions were regarded as "not productive." Matt Millen has become a case study in ways to be "not productive." Matt Millen was fired over three years ago. I would argue that selecting talented players, regardless of position, is a "productive" way to draft. (I'm still not sure whether you think Mayhew's pick was "sensible" or somehow "not productive.")
And here's where the wheels come off...
[B]y the time the Lions got around to sending Calvin Johnson to the podium to announce their pick -- after he plugged his Madden football cover (and by the way, can we stop acting like being chosen to grace a video game is somehow the equivalent of making the Hall of Fame?)--there was little else for Detroit to do but pick an offensive lineman.
Calvin Johnson. What a corporate lackey! What a vapid yes-man! That stooge! He should've refused to plug Madden '13, which would probably be a breach of contract, and thus result in the Calvin Johnson, Jr. Foundation not receiving all that money to help at-risk youth. But at least he would have stood up to the Man! Those kids could have learned something about a little thing called ethics! Way to "drop the ball," Calvin!
No one equates Madden covers with HOF status, Mitch. Madden NFL is a popular video game. The cover vote is a fun way to get the fans involved. Unlike with HOF status (which should not be voted on by the fans, by the way), people get to participate in deciding who will grace the cover of Madden. They get excited about that sort of thing. Should they not?
You're criticizing Calvin Johnson. Calvin Johnson, who is universally revered as a genuinely good person and positive example of how to conduct oneself as a professional athlete. (He is also pretty good at football.) I assume your follow-up article will be "Too low-key: How Lidstrom's lack of fire doomed the Red Wings."
What they really needed was secondary help, and the best players in those positions were gone by the 10th pick...That essentially cleared the decks. Dre Kirkpatrick from Alabama (nickname "Swag") was still there at 17, but the Lions made no move to jump up, perhaps believing that their defense was already swaggering enough.
On one hand, we have you: "The Lions made no move to jump up." On the other hand, we have Lions GM Martin Mayhew: "As usual, we looked at all of our options. We looked at moving up. At one point, we talked about moving back." You do realize that draft-day trades don't just spontaneously happen, right? Could it be possible that the Lions just couldn't find an acceptable trade partner? It takes two to tango. Even Drew Sharp recognizes this fact, and he believes the Detroit Lions are some sort of biblical plague unleashed upon the state of Michigan.
His fans say he's solid. His critics say he's not the strongest or fastest guy. And Mel Kiper is worried he has short arms. Honestly. Short arms. If I have to listen to Kiper five more minutes, I'll blow up the TV set.
Making fun of Mel Kiper's catchphrases (or hair) is like complaining that professional wrestling seems fake. It's hacky and obvious.
But such is the NFL draft, the most overblown non-event in the current rack of overblown non-events. After all, no games are won or lost on draft night. The only sweating comes from hot lights or chili dogs.
In the literal sense, this is correct. No professional football games are played in Radio City Music Hall. (Although Ray Lewis running onstage, drilling Andrew Luck in the chest, and standing over his comatose body, screaming "WELCOME TO THE NFL, YOU PUNK BITCH!" would make for some must-see TV.) But, as the Detroit Free Press' presiding master of metaphor, aren't you aware of the fallacy of that statement? Where would the Lions be if Mayhew had taken Aaron Curry instead of Matthew Stafford in 2009? What if Oakland had taken Calvin Johnson, and Matt Millen had drafted JaMarcus Russell? I believe those decisions might have affected the Lions' win-loss record.
I mean, really, all the time, effort, analysis and double-analysis, and the Lions end up with a guy who, once he pulls on his helmet, will disappear from most people's view for the length of his career? Was that really the party you were counting on?
If Reilly Reiff ends up being a high-caliber offensive tackle for the next decade, then yes. It was exactly the party I was counting on. And, how can you argue that a possible left tackle of the future will "disappear from most people's view for the length of his career?" No one on the Lions takes more grief than Jeff Backus (an offensive tackle himself, you know).
Here is all you need to know about the NFL draft. The man who helped make it a three-day event with a prime-time telecast, commissioner Roger Goodell, got booed every time he stepped to the podium Thursday night. And he's the guy who gave the fans what they wanted!
Well, he also presided over last offseason's NFL lockout, and many felt he catered exclusively to the whims of the owners. The lockout shortened training camps and threatened the NFL season. Football fans like watching football. They don't react kindly when it's threatened. Also, the Draft is in New York. There are a lot of Jets fans in the crowd. They boo, chant offensively, and are generally obnoxious. It's fucking New York.
Some might ask why Detroit didn't trade up for secondary help. It's a fair question.
Martin Mayhew: "As usual, we looked at all of our options. We looked at moving up. At one point, we talked about moving back."
But then, there's always Rounds 2, 3, 4, etc.
Oh, yeah. But no one ever gets starters out of those rounds.
Maybe Mel Kiper can suggest someone whose arms are long enough. Which begs the question: How long should a man's arms be? Long enough to hit the mute button.
So, like six inches?
Go to the NFL Network, dude. You get Michael Irvin. You never know what kind of nonsense he's going to say at excessive volume.
And, on a related note, John Niyo (who I guarantee makes significantly less than Albom or Sharp) writes a level-headed, non-inflammatory, logical analysis of the pick for the Detroit News.
