I can't help but think that if Sam Petrey was in this part of the world, he would speak only in fake Chinese. These Laotian girls be triflin', son. They're always laughing, which means I assume they're laughing at me/other foreigners. What do they have to be so happy about?! Just because you live in a goddamn island paradise doesn't mean you can poke fun at my delicious cream-colored skin and golden, wheat-colored hair.

So, last night, I went onto my porch around 4:00 a.m. to sleep on the hammock (the bed in my room is the most uncomfortable thing I've ever slept on). Within minutes, a couple wandered up to go into the adjoining bungalow. About 15 minutes later, they started going at it. Under normal circumstances, such an event wouldn't really merit observation. But, there's a noise ordinance on Don Det (effective at 11:00 p.m.), and it's not exactly party central to begin with. On top of that, most people sleep outside, or in poorly-insulated bungalows. So, when some random British girl screams "Fuck!" in the middle of a peaceful, quiet Laotian morning, people tend to take notice. She woke up the whole goddamn neighborhood.