I greatly desire a hammock and a big fruity drink.

David,

First, let me clear up any confusion by saying that yes, I would without a doubt skip a kickball game (non-playoffs) to watch Game 5 of the Tigs-Yanks. Who thought I wouldn't? Ted? Dunkleman? I bet it was Dunkleman.

Katie has really been the star of the show this week in Belize, but last night was my time to shine. After pallin' around with the Department of Justice and learning about how the Belizean government and police are corrupt as the dickens (and boy howdy, they sure are!), we arrived back in Belize City. Abigail (our host) and her friends took us to the Bird's Isle Restaurant and Bar yesterday evening. They're all middle to upper-middle-aged women; Katie and I are by far the youngest. Up to this point, I've mostly been quiet, polite, and generally low-key, so they have no fucking clue what's about to hit them. When my first pelvic thrust pops in their direction, they know who the real performer is. After my stirring rendition of Rebel Yell, a group of shitfaced Navy guys (U.S.A.! U.S.A.!) gives me raucous applause and at least six high-fives. An Aussie makes a point to shake my hand.

Step your game up, Dave Olmsted, because I'm taking this shit international.

You'll find that a lot of Sam and Lillian's friends will be foreigners, and probably Asian. It's in your best interest to just break off contact altogether at this point.

Anyway, I'm kind of stuck in Belize City right now, which sucks. Can't really go out at night to explore, because it's poor as shit, and I'll probably get mouthraped by 20 dudes. So, I'm pretty much staying in and waiting to take a boat out to an island tomorrow, at which point I will lay on a hammock and drink some sort of rum-filled concoction. I guess I'm experiencing the "real Belize," but I would really enjoy the fake one at this point. America!