Hey, brother.
So, Katie had some old photos of her trip to Kenya from four years ago. She just posted them on Facebook. The same people (for the most part, I assume) who were liking and commenting on her Costa Rica and Colombia statuses are now liking and commenting on these Kenya pictures. No one has bothered to ask how we departed South America and spent like two weeks in Africa, all in the span of 36 hours. To be honest, I'm not sure they even know that Colombia and Kenya are on two different continents.
People are retarded.
Monday, November 7, 2011
In the warrior's code, there's no surrender.
David,
I know you worry about me, so I must inform you that I am not yet in Peru. Our flight was overbooked, so Katie and I graciously accepted the airline's offer of a free hotel stay, a couple meals, and a $300 travel voucher (although it's only good for Latin America, for the most part).
I was holding my bowl of Cocoa Krispies (mistakenly labeled as "Rice Krispies"--get your shit together, Habitel) this morning and waiting for my made-to-order omelet when Survivor's "Burning Heart" came on the speakers. (I realize you probably already know this from Facebook.) Needless to say, I started doing pushups and glistening with sweat.
Our hotel room has wireless Internet. Why does it seem like hotels in the States don't, for the most part? Even our shitty Panama City hotel had WiFi. Perhaps the U.S. should have a brutal stretch of history with drug wars and civil conflict.
That's about it. I went to bed five hours ago, so I'm going to get more sleep.
-Doggins
I know you worry about me, so I must inform you that I am not yet in Peru. Our flight was overbooked, so Katie and I graciously accepted the airline's offer of a free hotel stay, a couple meals, and a $300 travel voucher (although it's only good for Latin America, for the most part).
I was holding my bowl of Cocoa Krispies (mistakenly labeled as "Rice Krispies"--get your shit together, Habitel) this morning and waiting for my made-to-order omelet when Survivor's "Burning Heart" came on the speakers. (I realize you probably already know this from Facebook.) Needless to say, I started doing pushups and glistening with sweat.
Our hotel room has wireless Internet. Why does it seem like hotels in the States don't, for the most part? Even our shitty Panama City hotel had WiFi. Perhaps the U.S. should have a brutal stretch of history with drug wars and civil conflict.
That's about it. I went to bed five hours ago, so I'm going to get more sleep.
-Doggins
Sunday, November 6, 2011
My Sweet Boy!
These (and every other) are the days that I truly miss you.
We have a makeup game for kickball today (Sunday) at 3:15. Needless to say, we are having everyone over to our new apartment for brunch and drinks. Keehner, Vince and I started drinking immediately after waking up and were joined quickly by Ted and Martini (who had also been drinking since waking up). Then, Brandon's neighbors (Molly, Amanda and I'm assuming Jenny shortly) joined up. Tanitah joined the party and my sweet D.O. is on the way.
The reason I am writing this is because they are making fun of me for my three Conan posters. I don't understand. If a man doesn't have a poster for Conan: The Barbarian, Conan: The Destroyer and the Conan: The Barbarian re-make, is he truly a man? I think this is like the tree falling question.
Either way, I love you and I need you in my vision soon. Please cancel your trip.
Love,
Dave
We have a makeup game for kickball today (Sunday) at 3:15. Needless to say, we are having everyone over to our new apartment for brunch and drinks. Keehner, Vince and I started drinking immediately after waking up and were joined quickly by Ted and Martini (who had also been drinking since waking up). Then, Brandon's neighbors (Molly, Amanda and I'm assuming Jenny shortly) joined up. Tanitah joined the party and my sweet D.O. is on the way.
The reason I am writing this is because they are making fun of me for my three Conan posters. I don't understand. If a man doesn't have a poster for Conan: The Barbarian, Conan: The Destroyer and the Conan: The Barbarian re-make, is he truly a man? I think this is like the tree falling question.
Either way, I love you and I need you in my vision soon. Please cancel your trip.
Love,
Dave
Saturday, November 5, 2011
I'm so sorry, brother.
Timmy Chang's record was broken tonight. I know the noose is already tied, but please don't step off the chair.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Correcting Your Shit Worldwide
Because I can't comment on your "normal" blog, I'm forced to do it here.
"Dolce Gabbana sunglasses," Chris? Dolce and Gabbana.
Be a real person.
"Dolce Gabbana sunglasses," Chris? Dolce and Gabbana.
Be a real person.
Buenos dias, hermano.
I'm sitting here at the conference on international youth volunteerism. So far, it's been an opportunity for people to exchange e-mails and chat about their respective volunteer projects. As I don't have the latter, I graciously give out the former, particularly to any female Colombians that ask.
I will just say this: Colombian women know what's up. They are killing--and I mean killing--every other country's women so far. Not literally, of course, but they all range from reasonably attractive to gorgeous, and spend a good amount of time preparing their looks. American women are slobs by comparison. Tell Margeaux I said that. Step your game up, U.S. Of course, they all also speak with the accent I love so much. What a wonderful country.
As I have no business cards, phone number, or permanent address (not to mention no volunteer organization), networking is proving difficult here. So, I mostly work on my Spanish with pleasant Colombian folks and try to explain to them why Detroit is better than New York City. I've dropped at least 30 statements about the Lions en Espanol.
I'm coming to learn that apparently the ability to get along with crazy old dudes runs in our blood. I befriended a dude named Jaime (of course, his name was a selling point) yesterday. He's in his 60s, probably, and spent like 15 years in the U.S. Army in Panama, so I know he's loyal to the Stars and Stripes. Anyway, also obviously speaks some English. During one of our group breaks, another guy performs a hip-hop singing act (rather well, I would add) titled "Revolutionary Love." My companion Jaime says (and I can't mimic in text, but think of Jesus in The Big Lebowski) "Amor, eh? Someone es getting focked tonight!"
It was awesome.
Love,
Doggins
I'm sitting here at the conference on international youth volunteerism. So far, it's been an opportunity for people to exchange e-mails and chat about their respective volunteer projects. As I don't have the latter, I graciously give out the former, particularly to any female Colombians that ask.
I will just say this: Colombian women know what's up. They are killing--and I mean killing--every other country's women so far. Not literally, of course, but they all range from reasonably attractive to gorgeous, and spend a good amount of time preparing their looks. American women are slobs by comparison. Tell Margeaux I said that. Step your game up, U.S. Of course, they all also speak with the accent I love so much. What a wonderful country.
As I have no business cards, phone number, or permanent address (not to mention no volunteer organization), networking is proving difficult here. So, I mostly work on my Spanish with pleasant Colombian folks and try to explain to them why Detroit is better than New York City. I've dropped at least 30 statements about the Lions en Espanol.
I'm coming to learn that apparently the ability to get along with crazy old dudes runs in our blood. I befriended a dude named Jaime (of course, his name was a selling point) yesterday. He's in his 60s, probably, and spent like 15 years in the U.S. Army in Panama, so I know he's loyal to the Stars and Stripes. Anyway, also obviously speaks some English. During one of our group breaks, another guy performs a hip-hop singing act (rather well, I would add) titled "Revolutionary Love." My companion Jaime says (and I can't mimic in text, but think of Jesus in The Big Lebowski) "Amor, eh? Someone es getting focked tonight!"
It was awesome.
Love,
Doggins
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I'm So Sorry
Chris,
I know you were upset about missing the Lions this year. I can only imagine how much more upset will be when you find out that you will also be missing NICKELBACK'S PERFORMANCE AT HALFTIME OF THE THANKSGIVING GAME AGAINST THE PACKERS.
That's right. The Lions are finally relevant, playing an undefeated team, and motherfucking Nickelback will be there.
God damnit.
I know you were upset about missing the Lions this year. I can only imagine how much more upset will be when you find out that you will also be missing NICKELBACK'S PERFORMANCE AT HALFTIME OF THE THANKSGIVING GAME AGAINST THE PACKERS.
That's right. The Lions are finally relevant, playing an undefeated team, and motherfucking Nickelback will be there.
God damnit.
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