Quick Quotes on Your Birthday

Yen: "I assume your plan to celebrate CT's birthday involves getting very drunk today?"
Dave: "It's the only way to make the hurt go away, Yen."

Vince: "Other people get drunk because it's the weekend, or because someone's in from out of town, or something like that. You drink like it's a personal challenge to see how drunk you can get. And I love that about you."

Happy birthday!

St. Patrick's Day: Hour ?

I'm with Pat, Rodney, and Napp. Get fucked!

What?

Too late. Pat and Napp are here.

St. Patrick's Day: Hour 7

Sorry, bud. I love you, but I'm drunk.

St. Patrick's Day: Hour 6

Fuck Pat Lynch.

St. Patrick's Day: Hour 5

Count: (7) Guinness, (3) Shots, (3) Irish Carbombs, (1) Irish Coffee.

Pat Lynch is here!!!!!!!!

St. Patrick's Day: Hour 4

Count: (6) Guinness, (2) Shots, (2) Irish Carbombs, (1) Irish Coffee

Johnson and I have money on Eastern Michigan/South Carolina. Mor important: women's basketball or cricket?

St. Patrick's Day: Hour 3

Count: (5) Guinness, (2) Shots, (1) Irish Carbomb, (1) Irish Coffee

I feel a little better about being drunk now that the sun is out. Johnson and I are yelling across the bar about how excited we are for the women's basketball tournament that starts in an hour.

St. Patrick's Day: Hour 2

Count: (4) Guinness, (1) Shot, (1) Irish Coffee, (1) Irish Carbomb

The good thing about sitting next to Jack's girlfriend is thatshe immediately gets Jack's attention. The bad thing about sitting next to Jak's girlfriend is that she immediately gets Jack's attention.

St. Patrick's Day: Hour 1

Count: (2) Guinness, (1) Shot

I walked in at 6:55 a.m. and Adam Johnson was here. Success. I'm already sans sleeves. Let's do this, bud.

Her name was Monica. She was Chilean. She had a fantastic rack.

I'd been drinking aggressively for 13 hours. I gave that girl the worst sex of her life.

You're welcome, South America!

We've really been sucking penis on the blog front.

I'm not sure if it's a Communist thing, or maybe a third-world thing, or just an Asian thing, but Laotians love burning shit. Like, all the time. Drive down any Laotian highway (and let's be honest, there are maybe like six of them), and within every two kilometers, boom, fire. Trash fire. This country burns all of its trash, man! It's completely green!

I honestly have no idea if they just love bonfires, or what. "Hey, man. I see you've got a nice pile of trash there. ...So, you going to do anything with it? No!? Well, shit, let's get the boys over and have ourselves some Beerlao and a good ole' fashioned trash fire! Comeon!"

(Editor's note: The previous quotations are approximations of Laos speech, which would have consisted solely of monosyllabic words, and repetitions of "Uh" [Laos for "yes"].)

Honestly, though. Trash fires and smog, baby! Welcome to Laos!

(Side note: Laos is actually awesome. But honestly, a country of fucking pyros, man. I swear to Christ.)

Why.

I spent hours on GChat for a fucking 'ranga?!

(Granted, I would've been on GChat anyway, but a fucking 'ranga?!)