Hey Bud

So I just got home from the gym and I don't really want to go out tonight (SNOWED IN!), so I'm sitting at my computer listening to music and drinking a 12-pack of Pacifico. Naturally, this made me think of you. Let's rock this shit.

Beer 1 (8 p.m.): Already finished, so let's just move on.

Beer 2 (8:07 p.m.): I'm listening to Van Halen. No surprise. I'm also talking to Joe Lomba on Facebook chat. I'm guessing that I'm going to go outward in concentric circles among the groups of friends as these beers progress. I mean, by the end of the case (or past that, we'll see), I'm thinking that I'll be talking to some person that I met once in a bar. Buckle up!

Beer 3 (8:13 p.m.): Unintended Consequence #1: Time-stamping these beers is really going to make me prove myself. You know that I need constant reassurance from my adoring public. Keehner and Ted just called me; they're all out at Louie's and they wanted me to join them. I said, "Listen, bud. I am live-blogging a case of beer to my sweet Chris Tomke. I have started down this road, and I cannot retreat from it. I love him." They understood. And as a bonus, we're going to make a fort in the living room when they get back and play Nightcrawlers all night long (by Lionel Richie). Also, I'm still listening to Van Halen.

Beer 4 (8:22 p.m.): I Can't Stop Loving You is a very underrated song by Van Halen. I just played it back-to-back. I'm now talking to Pat Lynch ("Computers." [?]) and my co-worker Amanda ("Chris, keep being awesome. Dave clearly misses you."), who I think you've met. Yeah, you definitely met her. Remember when we went to her birthday party and knew each other so well that we ruined games? That was god damned awesome. I love you, brother.

Beer 5 (8:34 p.m.): Talking to people on Facebook is really hindering my drinking ability. Still Van Halen, although I've moved on from Can't Stop Loving You. "Drinking for Chris Tomke's sake...Is there a better cause in the world?" I've messaged Thomas (Brandon's co-worker who loves the Blue Jackets) and Alisha (who worked for me in Burton), but neither one has responded. Don't they know how important this is?!

Beer 6 (8:47 p.m.): Thomas signed off without responding (fuck you, RJ Umberger), but my co-worker from Burton is involved in a conversation now. I can't stop listening to Right Now. I don't know if we told you this, but it's the official song of 2012. Is it odd that the two people I'm conversing with on Facebook are the top two on my feed (due to alphabetical order)? Probably not.

Beer 7 (9:05 p.m.): I'm really starting to feel it, bud. Although, I did just drink six beers in an hour. While not crazy, it's definitely respectable. My chat buddies are back to Amanda (co-worker) and Joe (huge balls). The music has switched to Michael Bolton. Why didn't I have him downloaded before?! He's the greatest! For some reason, you always appear on my Facebook chat list, despite the fact that you're not online. QUIT TEASING ME. I also just posted a picture of seven beers on my friend Amanda's wall.

Beer 8 (9:26 p.m.) : Oh doctor. I'm listening to New Found Glory. Now I'm listening to Orleans (Still the One) and sending people on Facebook the following message: "I'm drunk and unfriending people. How do we know each other?" I'm not really sure what's happening, but you can bet your ass I'm downloading Huey Lewis & the News.

Beer 9 (9:48 p.m.): Oh shit. Shit is really slowing down. The Power of Love is blaring. I love you, Huey. I hid it from you, but I've peed like four times. I'm sorry! What beer is this? Kate Adams is talking to me on Facebook chat now and she wants me to say some shit, but where are we? (Insert Cucumber Dance.) Everything is great(cue Irish music)!

Beer 10 (10:13 p.m.): Where am I? All I know is that Dream Theater's Scenes from a Memory: Part II is playing.More shit happens.